There are days I just want to wring Past self by the neck and tell him what a bad decision he's making or that he's made. Then I remember that's me that I would be strangling....
-Trevor's Journal
It was hard to explain to the crew and the other passengers where I was from. Harder still why my "brother" had been bothering Mr. Standish with silly questions and making faces at him. But the hardest thing was when Past Trevor woke up and saw me.
He'd leapt up and started going on and on about 4T and time traveling and things no one in the 1600s knew anything about. Yeah. Not good.
"Trevor! How good to see you!" he'd exclaimed, giving me a bear hug. "Oh, you have to tell me everything I've done since I was here last!"
How do you explain something like
that to people who haven't even invented a repeating gun yet?
Luckily Dominik had stepped in and announced that my "twin brother" wasn't right in the head. "He has a peculiar condition," he'd said.
After that we were able to explain it off. But we knew better than to stick around the other passengers. Past Trevor had a bad habit of asking really dumb questions that made everyone mad at us.
"Why did you board the
Mayflower?" "Do you think the ship will sink?" "What would you do if the main beam cracked?"
It was hard to keep Past self in check. Of course when we'd gotten him aside and asked where 4T the Second was, he had already forgotten from the pounding he'd received from Myles Standish.
"What did you say to make him so angry?" Marin moaned. "If you had kept your mouth shut, we'd be able to get 4T-2 and leave! Now we're
stuck on a
boat in the
ocean and we might drown!"
"What did you say to the man?" Dominik had demanded.
Past Trevor scratched his head. "To be honest, I don't remember," he admitted. He glanced at me. "Do you remember?"
"No. Because you're me, and you don't remember, therefore
I don't remember. All I know is you were the only person who knew where 4T-2 was!" I'd groaned.
There was no use whining about it. We'd have to do our best to find the watch.
The
Mayflower set sail. Marin got sick several times for the first day or two. Past Trevor and I searched the ship top to bottom, despite the curious looks we received from the other passengers. Dominik checked it twice as thorough.
One week went by. Two weeks went by. No
watch. And we all knew that Mykola could show up any time.
This is just embarrassing. I paused and tapped my pen, glancing around the hull. I was writing in my journal by lamplight. Marin lay with her head on my lap, asleep. Dominik leaned against the wall, arms crossed and snoring. Past Trevor, whom we'd dubbed "Ian" because that was his and my middle name, scribbled his name on the wall over and over again, chuckling to himself as he did it.
I can't believe that this is how I used to act, I penned.
Past Trevor asks some of the craziest questions. He's inconsiderate, he's very selfish and he really doesn't think much about anything else except what he wants or what he's thinking about.
Past Trevor hadn't met eight-year-old Marin yet in Czechoslovakia. I hadn't bothered to mention to him who she was.
"Oh, a time travel friend?" he'd asked me, cocking his head a little and eyeing Marin and Dominik. "Splendid! It's fun to travel with others!"
I decided not to correct him. He'd find out soon enough who she was. In fact, it was after this voyage that I'd traveled to the occupied Czech country.
To be honest, when I see how Past Trevor acts and compare him to myself now, I realize how much Marin has changed me. I re-positioned myself as the ship began to rock more than usual. A couple of the other passengers stirred. Someone muttered something about the weather turning sour.
Marin is who brought me out of myself. Marin taught me to realize there is more to life than doing whatever I want. Marin is the one who brought me to Christ. Marin has done so much for me... and yet I may lose her now to her brother, Dominik.
I stopped writing and sighed, then put my journal away. I didn't want to think about this anymore.
If Marin does leave with Dominik, you should be happy for her, I scolded myself.
To want to keep her with you is selfish.
I cared for Marin. I loved Marin like my own child. I wished she really
was my daughter, so I wouldn't have to worry about someone coming along and taking her back home with them.
I glanced down at the sleeping girl, her fingers curled around her hair and her knees tucked up to her chest. She was using my leg for a pillow. I reached down and brushed back a strand of hair behind her ear.
Oh Marin. How can I live without you in my life? How can I go on without you there to brighten up my day?
"Whatcha thinkin' about?"
I jerked my head up and narrowed my eyes at Past Trevor. He responded with a lopsided grin, grabbing the beam above him as the ship began to rock even more.
"Stuff. Stuff you wouldn't understand," I snapped.
"You know, since you joined me on this voyage you've been a grump and very judgmental towards me," Trevor sniffed. "What's gotten into you? Last time I saw you, Future Self, you were really fun."
"I'm Future Self from four years away," I reminded him. "A lot has happened to me in four years. I don't have time to play around. I have responsibilities."
Marin moaned. I grabbed her by the arm as the boat made a sudden violent pitch and she began to slide away.
In an instant her eyes popped open and she leapt to her feet, only to fall back down when the
Mayflower rocked the other way.
"Careful, Marin!" I exclaimed, catching her before she fell onto the hard wooden deck.
"What's happening!" she cried. "I was asleep just a second ago, then the ground started moving, and, and--"
"Storm."
We glanced over at Dominik, who was wide-awake now as well. "It's a storm," he repeated. "We must've hit the bad weather."
More people began to awake. I heard a couple of children began to cry. "What's going on, Mama?" one little boy sobbed.
"At this rate, no one's going to sleep tonight," I murmured.
A sudden peal of thunder woke the rest of the passengers up. Several people screamed in terror. Marin clutched my arms and buried her face in my shirt.
"I want to go home!" she wailed. "I don't want to be on a ship in a storm!"
Past Trevor got to this feet unsteadily. "Don't cry, Maureen!" he exclaimed cheerfully.
"Marin!" I growled. "Her name is
Marin."
"Whatever." he waved it off. "The
Mayflower doesn't sink. You don't have to worry at all. This is going to be
fun!"
I was about ready to slap him-- which means I was ready to slap myself.
We had bigger things to worry about though, when a flash of light exploded in front of us, and a figure we knew all to well appeared.
"Mykola!"
To be continued under the title of Revealed: Part Seven